(originally posted december 22, 2008)
I’ll start this off in a way that most guys wouldn’t even consider, and that’s by admitting in the past three weeks, I have cried twice. The first time was December 4th after reading an e-mail from my mom and the other time was earlier today when I had lunch with my grandma.
Now, before I go further, I wanna point out that I’m not the type to cry very much at all. Up until July 9, I can remember crying one time in the last ten years or so. My grandpa died and I didn’t even cry. It’s just not me. I keep it in and just deal with it on my own.
The two times I mentioned are very similar and while they brought up a lot of emotions I was trying to hide, the oerall way that it came to happen was refreshing and something I needed.
The first time, the e-mail from mom, was a pretty lengthy e-mail she wrote me one morning. We had talked on the phone the day before, not about anything in particular, just a son talking to his mom. She heard in my voice, from just talking about nothing, that I was having a rough time. She could tell from 161 miles away that something wasn’t right. She started off talking about how I seemed unhappy, how she could tell I was lonely, and she could tell I was worried about the future. I was fine reading all of that, and then about four paragraphs into it, she wrote that little six letter, two syllable word that kills me anytime I see it or hear it and I broke down in front of my computer. She said she knew my heart still hurts and that she can hear it in my voice. She went on and said some other stuff that I knew, but still kinda needed to be told.
The second time was earlier today. A week and a half or go Trishma (my dad’s mom) called me and said she knew my money was tight and she had $75 she wanted to give me so I could buy Christmas presents and that the only thing I had to do in return was go over to her house and have lunch with her. I’m not that close with her and really didn’t look forward to going over there but I needed the money so I bit the bullet and did it. I saw her at church yesterday and she said she had a few things she wanted to talk about. When she said that, I knew that six letter word was gonna come up and it made me dread going over there even more. I went and had lunch anyways. After we ate we started talking and, like I thought, that word came up. I fought it back as much as possible because even as much as I hate crying, I hate crying in front of someone even more. It got to the point where I couldn’t so I gave in. She was saying things that I knew, but needed to hear. For some strange reason, that woman has always had a knack for being able to see what God has planned for people (or maybe it’s just me in general). She kept talking and even though it hurt to hear some of the stuff, and even though I’m sitting there embarrassed cause I’m crying, the stuff she was telling me just gave me a new outlook and helped out a ton.
Now, since I’ve said that, I want to get to what I was really writing this about. (I know, you’re thinking holy crap, you’re just now getting to your point? Yeah, I am.) There’s one day a year that we all say thanks to our moms and treat them extra special and all of this. That’s not enough. There’s a thing that moms have that they can just tell when something is wrong and they know the right things to say. What they say may not make sense or be what we want to hear at that point in time, but eventually it hits you and everything kind of clicks. If you’re reading this and don’t have that relationship with your mom, I’m truly sorry. Even though I absolutely hate crying, and even though it embarrasses me to cry in front of people (I’ve only cried in front of three people in my adult life, and they’re two of them), it’s great to think that they know what they’re talking about. Moms are there to help us.
Basically, if you’re a mom, and you’re reading this, I just want to say thanks. I know none of you are my mom, but most of the moms that would be reading this have helped me in one way or another. It’s a cliche’ that moms make the world go around and that they hold everything together, but the more I grow up the more I see that the cliche’ is true. So, in case your kids haven’t said it, I want to say thanks. To the people that aren’t moms, think back to the times your mom has said something and it was the exact thing you needed to hear, and just tell her thanks or give her a hug or something. She deserves it.
Say your prayers and take your vitamins.
Have a nice day.