i’m on a mission that i think i can’t handle

one of my favorite things to do is make people feel awkward. i love it. it’s a ton of fun. it’s even more fun when you can get someone in on it. like if there are three people in a conversation, and you start talking about something that you know one of them has no clue in – that’s awesome. or during football season when i would put someone up on the video board when i knew they didn’t want to be on there. they would be up there and could see theirself and hated it while i’m in the booth laughing.

awkward moments are awesome.

awkward moments are hilarious.

awkward moments are fun.

when i’m in control of them.

i hate to see that person walking down the sidewalk who doesn’t realize their fly is open. or that girl that bends over and ends up mooning everyone but doesn’t even realize it. that’s just awkward and not in a good way. i almost feel embarrassed for them.

more than any of those situations, i hate the awkward situations that i have to put myself in. there are the awkward situations that i accidentally put myself in and i can laugh those off or figure out a way to get myself out of them.

but there are some awkward situations that i must create that the only way to get out of them is to tackle them head on and work through the awkwardness.

i said in my last post that i’m obsessed with the process of growing up. i know that part of growing up will be putting myself in some very awkward positions and talking through some very awkward moments.

and that just feels, well, awkward.

i don’t even know how to go about starting those conversations. how do you apologize to someone for something that happened in the past when you haven’t talked to them in pretty much forever? how do you hash out a misunderstanding from a long time ago with someone you’re no longer in contact with? do you randomly call them? do you text them? maybe an e-mail? facebook? maybe an obscure blog post read by 12 people on a thursday night? there’s no way to do it without being completely awkward.

i wish i knew an easy way out of these situations. i wish i could just smile, make a witty joke, and then just laugh the whole thing off. i wish i could just put the idea of even starting these conversations out of my mind.

but i can’t.

part of the reason i love this process of growing up is because i’m forced to think about these things. i’m put in a situation where i’m not in my comfort zone and i have to do something awkward in order to grow as a person.

part of the reason i hate this process of growing up is because i’m forced to think about these things. i’m put in a situation where i’m not in my comfort zone and i have to do something awkward in order to grow as a person.

i know what needs to be done.

i know what has to be said.

now i’ve just got to swallow my pride and actually do it.

say your prayers and take your vitamins.

have a nice day.

-jonathan

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