the second that i smelt the scent of my own house i said it

the sign still looks the same. the exit number is still the same. there’s still the big church in the old grocery store on main street. the restaurants are all still there.

but this town has changed.

the exit number off of the highway hasn’t changed, but everything else has. the exit and main street used to be lined with trees. now it’s lined with dirt and construction trucks. it looks so weird. it’s extremely different.

and i guess that shouldn’t surprise me.

but for some reason, it struck me in a weird way today.

home is supposed to be the same. when you go home, you’re supposed to recognize everything and you feel like it’s supposed to be the way you left it. you feel like you’re allowed to change and to grow up, but your home is supposed to be the same.

and really, that’s just dumb.

i’ve told a lot of people, and said it on here before, that i’d had thoughts about coming home when i finish school. i had (have?) a heart for this town and the people that live here and thought i was being led back here. but for some reason today, as i drove down main street and noticed how different it is, i realized that i don’t know this town anymore. i don’t know what the struggles of the town are. i don’t know the issues at the high school are. shoot, i don’t even know who’s on the basketball team at the high school anymore.

i don’t have the connection to this town that i thought that i did.

don’t get me wrong, i love my town. i love that i grew up here. i love coming home and spending time here. i have so many memories around every turn in this town. but when i really stop and think about it, the only thing that makes this town different than any other town in america are those memories.

i don’t know where god’s going to lead be when i get finished with school. i don’t know what church or what town or what role i’ll be in. but no matter where it is, i’d have to learn the pulse of the town. i’d have to learn the heartbeat of the people there. i’d have to find out the starters on the high school basketball team.

i’d have to do all of the same things i’d have to do if i came back to king.

maybe this was me coming to a realization on my own. maybe it was god reminded me not to put him in a box. maybe it was a combination of both.

but whatever it is, i got the point.

say your prayers and take your vitamins.

have a nice day.

-jonathan

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